Joan,
You're right -- when people see two women having lunch together, no one does a "double take" and whether consciously or subconsciously I feel that some people do when they see two men "out and about" together. Is it that we stereotype men unless their in a group and having a "business meeting", that's okay, but just two men privately having a lunch appointment, some people automatically think that they are gay. It's a mindset that people need to make an effort to either say, if they are it's okay and if they aren't and just wanting "male bond", that's okay, too! Don't you think?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Re: response to Taryn - week 6
Taryn,
You know I never really thought about it. Whenever my children cries it bothers me and I mean now (ages, 28, 26, 20). When my son (20) cries, we recently had to put down our cat, he cried (badly), along with me and I think if he didn't I would have been surprised. I've seen my ex cry when his parents died, and my dad when he lost his brother. So I guess my answer is, no it doesn't bother me to see men cry.
As far as sport casters (male or female), if they seem knowledgeable it wouldn't matter to me. Do I think that my age plays a factor in my thinking, no I don't think so. Because usually more "mature" (age-wise) people have the potential to stigmatized about men and tears and male and female sport casters, yeah I do. I guess it depends on the individual. So, my answer, there's no wrong or right answer - it's just what you do think.
You know I never really thought about it. Whenever my children cries it bothers me and I mean now (ages, 28, 26, 20). When my son (20) cries, we recently had to put down our cat, he cried (badly), along with me and I think if he didn't I would have been surprised. I've seen my ex cry when his parents died, and my dad when he lost his brother. So I guess my answer is, no it doesn't bother me to see men cry.
As far as sport casters (male or female), if they seem knowledgeable it wouldn't matter to me. Do I think that my age plays a factor in my thinking, no I don't think so. Because usually more "mature" (age-wise) people have the potential to stigmatized about men and tears and male and female sport casters, yeah I do. I guess it depends on the individual. So, my answer, there's no wrong or right answer - it's just what you do think.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Eureka Moment - 6
So, with the economy, such as it is, my eldest daughter got "rif(ed) (laid off) from her teaching position. She has a 15 month old in child care. She was very upset, 1 month and 1 day shy of being tenured.
All public schools are laying off personnel, my school as well.... Here is my "gender" eureka moment.
My little grand-daughter is a handful - adorable, but a handful. A while back my daughter told me that she was going to wait awhile before trying to have another child, because of her little demanding one. Well, her husband has this "brilliant" idea that since she doesn't have a job, she should have another baby. Let's see looking for a job, staying home and taking care of her daughter and being pregnant. Doesn't that fall under the "barefoot and pregnant cliche". Because my daughter is temporarily out of work, she should get pregnant? I gave her my opinion and but of course, said she should do what she wants to do (I wanted to say not what your husband wants you to do - but didn't).
Having a family should be a joint decision, and not based on being in or out of work, and what about affording another child? What's with that? What do you guys think?
All public schools are laying off personnel, my school as well.... Here is my "gender" eureka moment.
My little grand-daughter is a handful - adorable, but a handful. A while back my daughter told me that she was going to wait awhile before trying to have another child, because of her little demanding one. Well, her husband has this "brilliant" idea that since she doesn't have a job, she should have another baby. Let's see looking for a job, staying home and taking care of her daughter and being pregnant. Doesn't that fall under the "barefoot and pregnant cliche". Because my daughter is temporarily out of work, she should get pregnant? I gave her my opinion and but of course, said she should do what she wants to do (I wanted to say not what your husband wants you to do - but didn't).
Having a family should be a joint decision, and not based on being in or out of work, and what about affording another child? What's with that? What do you guys think?
Friday, June 19, 2009
response to heather
You are right some of those seminars are to make us conscious of not stereotyping gender roles. My problem was that these ESL teachers were selecting books for children who are learning the English language by level and by the gender of the child; when the goal should be can this child read this book, not is it about a girlie thing for a boy.
Response to Tonya's Eureka Moment
Tonya,
I am definitely older than you (probably your mother's age), I just think that it's common courtesy if you get to a door first to open it whether you are doing it for a woman or man. That man, in my opinion, should have minded his own business!
I am definitely older than you (probably your mother's age), I just think that it's common courtesy if you get to a door first to open it whether you are doing it for a woman or man. That man, in my opinion, should have minded his own business!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Response to Tiffany - Week 5
Tiffany,
You have a perfect right to be "ticked off". First off all, even if you were his fiance, he still didn't have a right to tell that guy to "back off". If you were engaged or even married you are "owned" by a person and not allowed to have a conversation? I can see him being jealous if the guy was flirting and coming on to you and even if that was the case, it would have been up to YOU to say, back off. In my opinion, please understand that I am a mother of a married and also an engaged daughters. My engaged daughter (the one who was living with the guy)is no slouch (not that you are), but believe me, he would NEVER do anything like that to her. He might say something privately to her like, he felt uncomfortable about the conversation between she and the guy, if that. Because if you are truly involved with someone, there has to be trust, not ownership in a relationship. Tiffany, if I were you, I'd find someone who was deserving to be your boyfriend, not someone who's just giving you "lip service".
Good luck.
Robin
You have a perfect right to be "ticked off". First off all, even if you were his fiance, he still didn't have a right to tell that guy to "back off". If you were engaged or even married you are "owned" by a person and not allowed to have a conversation? I can see him being jealous if the guy was flirting and coming on to you and even if that was the case, it would have been up to YOU to say, back off. In my opinion, please understand that I am a mother of a married and also an engaged daughters. My engaged daughter (the one who was living with the guy)is no slouch (not that you are), but believe me, he would NEVER do anything like that to her. He might say something privately to her like, he felt uncomfortable about the conversation between she and the guy, if that. Because if you are truly involved with someone, there has to be trust, not ownership in a relationship. Tiffany, if I were you, I'd find someone who was deserving to be your boyfriend, not someone who's just giving you "lip service".
Good luck.
Robin
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Taryn,
This is ironic, I was having a similar conversation with my son about this issue, just a few days' ago. He is almost 21 (which is scary in itself). We started talking about him starting to "legally drink" and the responsible that comes with reaching this age. Even though 18 is the legal age for some things in this state. Once you turn 21 and do something illegal or whayou you might think is just dumb - you can legally be in BIG trouble once you are 21. This is how the conversation started. He has a girlfriend, (more of a friend). So, I gave him this scenario. "Let's say you get romantically involved with Allie and she gets pregnant, what would you do?" Now we are not overly religious in our faith and my children know that I would give advice, but ultimately have them make their own decisions and choices. So, my son's response was simply, "I would marry her and she'd have the baby." With this, I played "devil's advocate" and said, What if she didn't want to marry you or have the baby, what would you do?" This was a mute point because he felt that they were so close as friends that they would be able to work things out and come to a joint solution. Which is what I would hope he would do. I think that is the best way to deal with this situation. Is it ultimately the woman's choice, legally, I think so, it is her body and if I'm not mistaken up to a certain time is allowed to have an abortion even without parental consent, let alone the alleged father's consent which is an issue in itself. Unless he gets a court order to claim paternity, how does he know that the child is actually his to say you can't have an abortion. This is a unclear topic. Like I said, two people should discuss and decide what is best for all in the situation. Anyway, that's my opinion.