So, with the economy, such as it is, my eldest daughter got "rif(ed) (laid off) from her teaching position. She has a 15 month old in child care. She was very upset, 1 month and 1 day shy of being tenured.
All public schools are laying off personnel, my school as well.... Here is my "gender" eureka moment.
My little grand-daughter is a handful - adorable, but a handful. A while back my daughter told me that she was going to wait awhile before trying to have another child, because of her little demanding one. Well, her husband has this "brilliant" idea that since she doesn't have a job, she should have another baby. Let's see looking for a job, staying home and taking care of her daughter and being pregnant. Doesn't that fall under the "barefoot and pregnant cliche". Because my daughter is temporarily out of work, she should get pregnant? I gave her my opinion and but of course, said she should do what she wants to do (I wanted to say not what your husband wants you to do - but didn't).
Having a family should be a joint decision, and not based on being in or out of work, and what about affording another child? What's with that? What do you guys think?
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Robin,
ReplyDeleteI think having a family is a joint decision as well. However, based on what you wrote, it sounds like she's trying for a child while she's unemployed. Maybe she thinks it'll be easier for her to manage while unemployed. When she told you she was going to wait because of her "handful" she was working fulltime and probably thought two would be even harder.
Since her husband seems willing to foot the bill, why not have the second child while unemployed? If he thinks she should go back to work after the baby is born, so long, sucka! Maybe they can afford it. If they can't afford it (I would have to say most people think they can't afford children), then they probably shouldn't do it.
Also, maybe the husband is hoping for a son, which is a selfish reason to have another child. Since you didn't say what side your daughter fell on in this argument but let me say one thing, coming from a daughter: don't give your opinion unless asked - otherwise my answer would also be "I'll do what I want to do."
Taryn
Taryn,
ReplyDeleteI don't really give too much advice unless asked. But my daughter also had issues with being anxious being pregnant and anxiety with the baby, she calls me about every little thing with the baby, so besides the money issue, I am concerned with my daughter's emotional health.
I agree with you. She should do what it best for her. I would have personally told her to think about what she wants and not just what her husband wants because having and raising a child is a huge decission. With the way the economy is now may not be the best time to have another child. I wish her the best of luck whatever she decides.
ReplyDeleteRobin,
ReplyDeleteI don't know. If the husband is able to financially support his family comfortable without her job and she works primarilly because she wants to then I would have to agree with your daughter if that is something she wants to do.
However if she wants to work and this is all her husbands idea and their finances are going to suffer because she lost her job than it would be a bad idea to add another child into the equation.
Overall having a child should always be a joint decision.
Wow... that's a tough one. My friend was also recently laid off and she has two little one's (4 mos. and 2 yrs) and is newly married. She's very happy at being a homemaker and her husband was at first but now it's starting to cause some tension within their relationship and with her in-laws.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, I never thinks it's a good idea to have children to try and save a relationship or if you're already having financial difficulties because I don't see how a child can make either situations better or how it's benefical to the child.
Mother knows best.. is what I've learned thus far and I'm going to have to side with you on this one. I think that they should weigh the pro's and con's before deciding to extend their family, just to make sure that the decision is being made with a clear head and not just because she's emotional about her recent job loss.